Birds That Fly
by xMissWhitneyBexx
Summary: JJ finds out that during her recovery, Will cheats on her after realising the stress of almost losing his wife. Sure of her love for both Will and Spencer, she needs to come to a conclusion that will affect her family life forever. 15x01/02. This is somewhat of a Jeid story to be clear. Either way, I will be on canon with CM but with my own spin. Do not read if you hate Jeid :)
1. Chapter 1

**Spoilers for 15x01 and 15x02. Based on Jeid and JJ/Will. Enjoy :)**

* * *

"I thought you were going to die," Will whispers. "I... I put the boys to bed, called the babysitter and began my way to come and visit you. But I stopped for a drink. Then a drink became two and three and-"

"But I was out of the woods-"

"You had that infection and the doctor told me, told _us_ to pr-prepare," Will cuts her off gently.

JJ sniffles. "I see." She's taking this more calmly than he expects and she doesn't even know her own mind if she's honest. Her heart loves two men but she can't bear to lose one because she's accepted she can't be with the other nor hurt her sons. Their sons.

"It won't happen again."

_I won't make it a habit to get shot and almost killed_, she thinks bitterly. But she says, "I know it won't."

Will nods. "I swear it-"

"I... I can't just forget about what you told me," JJ cuts him off. "But we can... work something out. For the boys. I don't want Henry and Michael to be hurt. So, we have to keep this from them."

"Of course," Will says. "Anything."

"Therapy, I guess?" JJ suggests, getting up but he stops her. "What?"

"What do you need? I will get it for you."

JJ smiles wryly. "To empty my bladder, Will."

"Sorry, cher," he mumbles, following her to the bathroom.

She keeps the door open and asks, "Well?"

"Hmm?"

"Therapy?"

"I don't know..."

"Why not?"

Will sighs, shrugging. "It might open up a can of worms."

"But it could prove really healing," JJ replies, finishing using the toilet and flushing it. She washes her hands, dries them and crosses her arms when she turns to him.

Will bites his bottom lip. "JJ, I... I will be honest with you."

"How honest?" She asks fearfully, tears already springing to her eyes.

"It's not the first time. There were two times, both in New Orleans," Will explains. "Just kissing, nothing more. Not like this time."

"Do you even love me?"

"I do-"

"Then why?"

Will shrugs. "Sometimes, I feel like we went into this too quickly."

JJ sighs in relief. Or annoyance, she doesn't know. "We did have Henry so soon after we started dating."

"Exactly," he says. "And that's... almost thirteen years. Dear God."

"I love you," she whispers, tears falling down her cheeks. "I chose you."

Will cups her cheeks. "I love you and chose you too," he replies softly. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," she replies, sniffling as she wipes her tears. She starts laughing and it confuses him. "What are we doing? A-Are we ending this or...?"

"I think we should."

"Yeah," she breathes out, nodding. "I... I will still need you, Will. I can't-I can't lose you, I can't-" She breaks down into sobs and he hugs her tightly, stroking her hair. "I almost died and left you all. I'm sorry."

"No. _No_. Don't apologise. It wasn't your fault. This isn't your fault," Will tells her. "It's me. It's the person who did this to you... I love you and I am sorry for everything. I will still be here, we can do this together. Raise the boys and be happy. Separately."

"Can we really?"

"Yes," he whispers. "We are so strong, together and apart. We can do this."

She nods shakily. "We can."

...

The first thing she does after Will leaves is to call Spencer. She hopes her voice doesn't break and she curses a few times when the sobs clog her throat and her hands tremble.

But she does it and he gets the message, telling her he will be there very soon. She's grateful, thanking him before she goes to check on the boys to make sure that they are asleep.

Will kissed their heads before he left and she smiles in relief that they are not doing this spitefully. They love their sons but they realise that if they keep at this marriage, they will grow to resent each other but they love each other. So that is why they are doing this.

Almost dying has given her a new perspective.

"Where's Will?" Is the first thing that leaves Spencer's lips when he enters, taking his coat off. "Gone out to get you some ice cream?"

JJ chuckles but shakes her head. "We ended things," she says quietly, leading him to the living room as they both sit down. "Things changed and we both didn't realise until now."

"JJ, I'm so sorry," Spencer says, shifting a little way away from her to give her some space but she closes the gap and leans into his chest. "If you need anything at all."

"Thank you," she says, closing her eyes. "I never thought... I told you... At the hospital that I love Henry, Michael and Will but... God, why didn't I see it?"

"I don't know what to say..." Spencer tells her gently. His mother told him not to wait for her forever, to find himself someone else but now he has a chance and he... "Take some more time off. If you need help with the boys, let me-_us_ know. We are all here for you, JJ."

He doesn't take it.

"I know. And I'm grateful," JJ replies, leaving his chest to give him a smile. "I'm sorry for dumping this all on you."

"What are best friends for?" Spencer says easily. "I should go. I'm visiting my mother tomorrow morning. We're talking about this trial she heard about in New York. I thought we weren't going to bother but her nurse says she's been obsessed over it."

"Oh, yes. Of course," JJ says, shaking her head. "You should think about her, forget about me."

"No-"

"Don't make my issues yours. You have enough on your plate, Spence," she replies, smiling brightly. "How is she?"

Spencer's eyes light up. "She's doing really well. She has her days of sanity and others... well, you know. But when she's lucid, she is the mother I know and I love, and she gives terribly good advice."

JJ laughs. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me more."


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm here!" JJ quickly says, rushing to the table and sitting down. "I am so sorry."

"It's fine," Will says, laughing softly. "You look like you've run a whole block."

JJ blushes furiously, handing him the bag full of his clothes. It's an ongoing process, but coffee dates like today help in making the transition easier for them, for their children and in general.

"So Michael decided to pull a sickie," she begins. "Henry tried to butter him up to go to school but he just wouldn't have it. So, I had to call Penelope from her nail appointment to sit with him as I took Henry to school but then we saw a cat get run over when I got back and it belongs to Mrs Halloway-"

"From down the road?"

"Yes," she breathes out, winded. "So, we had to drive her and the cat to the vets with Michael complaining about being sick and Penelope trying to not ruin her newly-done nails..."

William grins. "And...?"

"They're waiting in the car," JJ finishes, laughing. "Well except the cat. It's at the vet."

"Wow," Will says. "Do you need help?"

"You're taking the boys to the hotel for the weekend and as it's Thursday and Michael seems to be indignant on going to school... Could you maybe take him off my hands today?"

Will nods eagerly. "Of course. You're still recovering. I didn't even think of that when... I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," she says, cutting him off. "Henry's independent but he still calls for me and Michael's clingier than usual... He has nightmares, I should warn you."

"Is it about us separating?" Will asks in alarm. "J-"

"It's everything," she whispers, her eyes stinging with tears. She's so goddamn emotional lately and she hates it, putting on a brave face. "The attack, me being in the hospital, us splitting up..."

Will sighs. "Was it a good idea to reject the offer of being counselled?"

"Yes," JJ replies easily. "We need to allow each other space to grow and be there for the boys. What if we both meet other people?" _Spencer Reid_. "And fall for them in another chance of a healthy relationship?" _Spencer Reid_. "And-" _Spencer Reid_.

"I get it," Will says, smiling a little. "But how soon is too soon?"

JJ nods, getting what he means. "We should give it three months at least," she tells him easily. "Then we can see where things take us in our respective love lives. But for definite, this divorce is happening and we need to be very careful with that."

"You get the house. It's in your name as you pay most of the bills."

"Don't say that-"

"Do you think I get paid as much as you do?" Will asks gently. "I mean, the BAU made you an attractive offer, better than Interpol or whatever ever gave you. You're a good FBI agent, don't be ashamed of that. Keep the house."

JJ smiles thankfully. "Thank you. And custody. That is easy, joint."

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure if you're moving back to New Orleans or..."

Will leans back in his seat. "I'm staying. Where the boys and you are, I am. You three are important."

JJ beams. "Alright. I will help you in securing a stable place nearby so that we can do the custody thing weekly. Two weeks each of every month. Holidays... I'd like that to be the four of us if we do have new partners or whatever the situation between us and our new partners, we could work things out."

"That is smart."

"Good. Glad you agree," she replies. "Oh, and you will definitely get full custody of Bella."

"You've been waiting to get rid of her for ages," Will says, chuckling. "Hate chameleons that much?"

JJ rolls her eyes playfully. "Will, I do not have the time to feed and look after a lizard much less the boys who forget they have certain toys or things in favour of new stuff."

"She's a chameleon," Will starts. "And I will take her, don't worry."

JJ sighs in relief, placing her hand on the table. She swallows deeply when he takes it and entwines their hands, squeezing her hand gently. Tears sting her eyes and she gives him a warm smile, nodding in confirmation that they're doing the right thing.

"Don't push yourself, Jennifer," he tells her softly. "I don't want to see your flame burn out."

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"I'm fine," she whispers, staring into his eyes intently. "I've got support."

"Make sure Spencer is there," Will tells her. "God, we were both so worried when you were in the hospital. He kept me going, reassuring me even if he wasn't so sure himself."

JJ's heart swells with pride and happiness of her guys comforting each other. Now, she has no guys. "I will make sure he's there."

"He can look after the kids, can't he? When you need a break?"

"Yeah."

"I will be in New Orleans for two weeks from next Monday," Will says. "Visit my family and see one of my uncles. He's dying so might as well be there for his last remaining time with us..."

JJ gasps. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. We all saw it coming. I found out yesterday but I didn't want to add that drama to your life."

"Will, never feel discouraged to tell me things. We'll still be good friends," JJ says. "We _are_ good friends."

Will gives her a warm smile. "Thank you."

"Right, anything else?"

"I will take Michael."

"Oh, right!" JJ says, getting up along with him. "I've packed his bag presumptively. Didn't want to be unprepared. And I will also give you Henry's things."

They head outside and towards the car.

"Who is picking up Henry?" Will asks.

"Spencer. He's taking him to some chess thing. I needed an evening to myself so that's also part of the reason why I hoped you'd take Michael sooner," JJ admits.

Will chuckles. "Fine with me. Just making sure that you are looking after yourself as well," he tells her. "Are your stitches still good?"

JJ nods. "I had them changed two days ago. I'm alright. Just a bit sad that I can't drink because of the pain medication but I will be off them very soon and back to fighting fit."

"Don't go to work too soon."

"Uh, I won't," she lies. Work is her adrenaline. "I'm using this time to sleep, eat properly and catch up on TV."

"Good. And remember?"

"Look after my self and ask for help."

Will nods in approval. "Good."


	3. Chapter 3

"Max?"

"Yes," Spencer says, placing his cup of coffee down on the table.

The children are playing in the other room. It's a Saturday and she's worn out, having gone back to work sooner rather than later. Her colleagues are annoyed and still are, but they only care for her health and she loves them for it but knows she will be better off with getting her mind off things.

This is certainly one of it.

"She's...kind, funny and she's got this quirky sense of humour. She's great," Spencer tells her.

JJ falters but she nods, a smile gracing her features as she reaches over the table and squeezes his hand. "That's good. I'm h-happy for you."

"Here's the thing... She doesn't know _me_. My name, what I do... I kind of introduced her to my alter-ego."

JJ lets out a laugh. "I'm sorry?"

"My alter-ego," Spencer mumbles, his cheeks reddening. "It's stupid. We met through a chess and novelist forum."

"Sounds just like Maeve," JJ states. "Book lover." _And the love of your life_, she thinks with a sad smile.

Spencer shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "That is why I wanted to talk. Because I like Max and I've asked her out on a date but..."

"But?"

"Maeve."

"Maeve," JJ repeats softly. "And how does she fit in all of this?"

She knows but she wants him to get it for himself, to come to his own conclusions. He's an adult, not a child who needs to be helped to produce his own thoughts.

"She's dead and even though there is some potential between Max and me, I don't want Maeve to think that I've abandoned her-"

"Maeve would want you to be happy, Spence," JJ says, getting up to refill their cups. "It's not like she will come back from the dead to kill you just for staring at another woman." _Or me_. "She will be elated that you're not stuck on her."

"And you?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What do you feel about me with Max?"

JJ swallows deeply, glad he can't see her face as she gets the coffee jug. "What does it matter what I care, Spence?" She asks, trying to be light and friendly.

"You're my best friend. I value your opinion," is his reply as he waits for his cup.

"Over your love life? Spence, you're old enough to make romantic choices for yourself-"

"Will left you," he states softly. "And here I am, rubbing this in your face. I didn't think-"

JJ sighs. "We parted mutually. I still call him, he checks in on me and helps with the boys as he should. We're good," JJ tells him. "He's supportive and just because I am in divorce proceedings does not mean that I am an expert in love or should give you advice."

She comes off as testy and she closes her eyes, shaking her head. She can't believe it, she doesn't believe it. She's trying to be positive, she has to be otherwise she will think about the stitched up hole in her body and the fact that she's a single mother who has a love of her life that is involved with someone else.

"Perhaps, I need to rest," she mumbles. "I'm sorry, the painkillers wore off-"

"Be careful," Spence says, totally disregarding her testiness.

It makes her smile, turning to give him a grateful nod. "I will. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be," he says. "I am being silly. Of course, you have better things to think about than my love life-"

"I do want to think about it," she says quickly. "I just need a distraction. I can't sleep. When I do, I see the Chameleon and his daughter... I see Will and I split up over and over again. I see Michael crying... I just need a break and when I have the chance to think about other things, I'm pushing it away."

Spencer stands and brings her into his arms. She rests her chin on his shoulder, sighs in relief and closes her eyes. She squeezes him and he responds by pressing a kiss on the side of her head, rubbing her back.

"Everything will be okay, you do know that?" He tells her.

"I do," she whispers.

"Do you need anything?"

JJ nods against his frame. "Milk. Eggs. A whole bunch of things I put off because I'm too busy trying to be Wonder Woman. But I can't be..." Her voice breaks and tears sting her eyes. "I'm trying, Spence, I am. I want to be a good mother, but it's hard. I never realised how much I relied on Will and now he's away and I can't ask him to drop everything there to be here."

"He wouldn't mind," Spencer says gently. "I mean, it's about his sons and he did offer help."

"But I told him to go. I can't be selfish. I have already been too much." _Over Will, the kids, the assets, you_, she thinks. "Can you stay the night?"

Spencer pulls away to eye her. "Are you sure?"

"I am," she whispers, nodding. "I just need some more rest. Uh, someone to wake the kids up and get them ready for Church tomorrow. My mother came down to help me with them. She asked me to come, but I can't. I'm not ready."

"I will stay," he says. "I'll need to get some stuff from my place but I will be back as soon as I can."

JJ beams, hugging him tightly. "Thank you," she says, closing her eyes and inhaling his familiar scent. "You don't know how much you've just taken off my shoulders..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Quick thing, I've been a Jeid shipper for a long time. Lately, not so much because of Will and the kids but I want to make this somewhat as realistic as possible. If your spouse cheated on you _three_ times, you would leave them. For the Guest reviewers who say she wouldn't leave Will, well this is fanfiction for a reason and _my_ story. Also, she wouldn't leave Will if he cheated on her? I know for one that if my husband cheated on me multiple times no matter what it included, I'll be packing my bags. Even if I love him or not, that is not healthy. If you don't like Jeid or the concept of their friendship (as their friendship will be inside this story as opposed to romance but we'll see), I suggest that this isn't the story for you. I want readers who enjoy stories and not try and make them completely canon otherwise, we'd all be writers for Criminal Minds and stealing their ideas. I do not plagiarise, I adapt and make something I would want to read. I don't find enough Jeid stories romance or friendship that are satisfying to read or update frequently so I decided to help it out a little. Sorry for the rant for those who do enjoy the story. I was getting quite confused about people who click on this story to review that this wouldn't happen which baffles me, considering that there are a lot of fics (about other characters) on the site that wouldn't happen as well. It makes me wonder if they go and review the same thing on those fics and that shouldn't be on. Fanfiction is exactly that, _fan_ fiction. We do not want to be the writers themselves, we give ourselves satisfaction as the writers and creators don't show what we would like at times.**

****Anyhoo, enjoy :)****

* * *

Sleep doesn't come easy to JJ and she moves side to side on her now colder bed. It feels empty and lonely, and she gets out of bed and heads into Henry's room, getting into his bed and bringing him to her chest.

Henry doesn't complain and he snuggles against her, mumbling tiredly that he loves her. It brings a smile to his mother's face and she sleeps easily after that.

Two hours later, she wakes up and finds that she can't just get back to sleep yet, her son's leg over her stomach and his snoring louder than before. His hair is all over the place and she sighs against the single pillow they share.

It's about 11 PM now and she sighs heavily again, feeling the discomfort of the warmth on her sweaty skin. Getting out of her son's bed and fixing up his duvet, she heads downstairs and picks up her phone, hoping to God that they haven't caught a case so she can call Spence.

"I can't sleep," is the first thing she tells the energetic voice on the line.

"Why, what's wrong?"

JJ sighs, dragging her fingers through her clammy hair. "I just feel so... _hot_. Sweaty, my head hurts-"

"Could you be having another infection?"

JJ shakes her head. "No, I don't think so. I think it's the heat." She fans herself. "It's been warm lately."

"Hate to break it to you, but it really hasn't," Spencer replies. "Do you want me to come over and check? You don't sound too good."

"No," she quickly says. "I'm fine. I just needed some reassurance. I'm fine." She notes how many times she's said that she's fine.

But she's not.

She doesn't want to show it either.

"I'm being silly," she later says. "Let me get off the line." She hears him shuffle a little over the line and wonders what he's doing.

"JJ..."

"Hmm?"

"I've just got a text," he says. "From Prentiss - we've caught a case."

JJ sighs. "I'm coming-"

"No-"

"I'm coming. My mother's in the guest bedroom," she says. "I'll be at the BAU soon."

Before he can protest further, she's hung up and heading upstairs. She knocks on her mother's door and opens it when the woman answers. She's surprised to see Sandy, still up and watching TV.

"Oh, Jennifer," her mother says. "Are you alright? You look pale."

"I'm fine," JJ says softly, reminding herself to wash her face to make her seem more alert and well. "We've caught a case. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," Sandy says, a tone of disappointment in her words. Not disappointment, worry or uncertainty. "Are you sure?"

JJ nods. "I am."

"Alright," Sandy finally mumbles. "Be safe."

"I will," JJ promises. At least she won't be on the field.

...

JJ chugs the next Gatorade, feeling invigorated at seven in the morning. They're in Seattle, a case about gang members being mutilated and dumped behind clubs and bars.

"Slow down, you'll throw up," Matt says lightly, sipping his own caffeinated drink. Coffee.

JJ chuckles. "I've had enough throw up for a lifetime," she admits, slow sipping her drink now. "So, what do you think?"

Matt takes the sheet she holds. "There's definitely a distinct pattern. Almost like an octagon - seven victims, the next one is probably being targetted now."

"But that's not the only pattern," JJ says, standing to go over to the board. "The separate case with similar facts." She points at another area. "The heptagon. He's completed that cycle. He'll go for-"

"A nonagon," Simmons mutters, heading to another file. "The Southside Sevens, The Outlaw Eights-"

"Northside Nines," JJ cuts him off. "They're picking off members of each gang and killing them. I'll call Rossi."

...

It takes a week to close the case and JJ returns home with a warm welcome and Spencer behind her with her things. She's been dizzy but she doesn't tell anyone. She's felt flutters in her chest but doesn't say anything.

"I'm fine," she repeats like it's a mantra.

She knows they can tell she's lying so increase their defences in a little way. It's a round-the-clock support system and even Will calls five times a day, three more than usual as he always dedicated each of his normal two to their sons so they didn't complain about having less or more time than the other brother.

It's over-excessive to her, but she understands. She was lying on the ground, her blood seeping everywhere and coming out of everywhere. She was in the OR for hours, asleep for hours, in recovery for hours.

JJ is not one hundred per cent and she knows that herself.

Just doesn't want to quite believe it.

"You need a break," Penelope says as she cooks her and the boys dinner.

"I'm fi-"

"Oh, Ms Jareau, I swear if you say that word I will slap you with this wooden spoon myself!"

JJ chuckles softly, nodding. "I will reduce my hours then."

"Or," Penelope starts. "And this is a suggestion but could be more... You could just take sick leave."

JJ glares at the back of Penelope's head. "This is the only thing I have going for me right now. The boys, Will... I just need something where _I'm_ in control."

"But you're not," Garcia states, shrugging indifferently. "In control, I mean."

"I-"

"You almost collapsed coming down the steps of the jet."

"Who told you that?" JJ asks, annoyed and betrayed.

Garcia spins on her feet to look at her good friend. "Prentiss, Spencer, Matt, Luke and Tara... We're all worried about you."

"I don't need to be babied."

"You've separated from your husband for God knows how many years! The father of your children and you are still recovering from a GSW!" Penelope cries out. "Are you _trying_ to run yourself down?"

JJ's eyes spring with tears and she takes a sharp breath. "I didn't ask for all of that."

Penelope's eyes widen and then soften as she turns off the stove and takes a seat, grabbing JJ's hand. The food is done anyway.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Of course, you didn't ask for Will to cheat on you and for this separation and the Chameleon's messed up daughter to shoot you..."

JJ's lips waver. "Do you think I'll ever find a normal again? Something comfortable and familiar?"

"Yes!" Garcia says enthusiastically. "Oh, Jayje, you'll be so happy. I promise you that."

JJ shakily nods, wiping her face dry. "I'll call the boys to eat."

"JJ?"

"Hmm?"

"We all love you."

JJ smiles a little. "I know. I love you all too."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay. Had university exams going on and well, life... Anyhoo, enjoy :)**

* * *

"I'm proud of you," JJ tells Spencer. "You've gone and done it."

Spencer blushed and chuckles a little. "Her nephew isn't so bad either," he says as they walk in the park, Henry and Michael off playing.

JJ grins. "That's great."

"Do you know what else is great?"

"What?"

"Rose Mary."

JJ tuts. "You've finally seen her?!"

Spencer nods, waving at Michael when he calls him. "She's so beautiful. I can't wait to be a father."

JJ stares at him in slight awe, watching as he grins when Michael shouts something to him. She watches his lips move as he speaks back and the world seems to stop just there and then. Spencer is so innocent and sweet, he can't wait to be a father of all things.

"You're great with the boys," she says. "They adore you."

"I love them too," Spencer replies, not turning to face her as Henry now has joined the conversation.

JJ swallows. "I've always wanted a daughter with Will," she tells him. "We were trying. Wanted to name her after my sister."

Spencer turns back to her in surprise. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" JJ laughs. "I didn't have a miscarriage or anything..." Then they both remember. "Well, not after Michael."

"Are you certain you can't make things up with Will?" Spencer asks as they take a seat on a bench.

JJ sighs. "It's done and dusted with," she says. "The divorce will go by in a blur and it will all be a distant memory."

"You guys were... _special_ together."

"Even when I told you that I...?" JJ trails off, they both don't need that.

Spencer sighs. "I moved on," he says, turning away.

JJ nods, tears springing to her eyes. Too soon, she believes. "Yeah," she shakily breathes out. "You did."

"Max is wonderful," he says. "She's fun. She doesn't mind that I'm an FBI agent. In fact, the other day, she gifted me this ceramic bowl painted in the FBI colours. I put my keys in it now. Change is good."

JJ bites her lip, not quite knowing what to say to that. "Mhm," she hums. "Spence-"

"I can see a future with her."

JJ feels like her whole body is frozen but this is what she encouraged right? When they were at the hospital and he was dressed in that mismatched Washington DC clothes as they waited to see Matt and Kirsty's new daughter.

"I'm glad," she whispers, her voice breaking and he wraps an arm around her shoulders. She bows her head and tries to stop the sobs from escaping but they do and she turns away from him, biting her knuckle as he rubs her arm with his other hand.

"Give it time," he says. "You'll find someone else or... love and value yourself more. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship."

"Especially when your heart's conflicted because two men own it," JJ says bitterly. "I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry-"

"No-

"Don't be-"

They're a bundle of messes, trying not to make the other feel bad or guilty but it is what it is. Max is in the picture and Will is out. It's like a merry-go-round. One person on, another off. It will always be a damn triangle and she mentally curses, wiping her tears away.

"We should head back," she says. "I'm hungry and the meds wearing off."

"Be careful-"

"I always am," she snaps but then her face softens. "I'm sorry."

Spencer sighs and waves it off. "You're fine."

"I am," she says firmly with a nod. "Sometimes I wonder..."

"What?"

"Why this happened?" She asks, turning to face him. "Why I got shot. Why that led to all of this... Or why I didn't see that Will wasn't the one before... But I don't regret the boys, they're my life. But after Michael, I should have known and maybe we could have had a chance and-"

"Don't do this to yourself," Spencer cuts her off gently. "You'll be too hurt."

JJ scoffs. "I'm already hurt. My heart is in pieces. Because the man I love and married and I never going to be the same again and the other man has found someone else. What will _I_ do? They've moved on, but I can't and I..."

Spencer winces. "Love is unexpected."

"Wh-what?"

"Exactly that. Love is unexpected," Spencer repeats. "One day, your heart will be fixed and you'll find someone who loves you."

JJ laughs a little. "Are _you_ giving me love advice?"

"Considering I've moved on from my first love and my ex-girlfriend was murdered... I thought I'd have enough experience to last me a lifetime," he replies. "Oh, and write a few books from it."

She laughs loudly and he joins in. Oh, how he could make things better. "I'm sorry about Maeve."

"Let's hope this one doesn't end badly," he replies, bringing her in for a side-hug as they watch Henry and Michael continue to play. "Maybe I will introduce you two to each other. You'll love each other, I promise you."

JJ turns to him as he watches the boys. "I'd like that."

She really would, if she's honest. She wouldn't judge the woman too harshly but if he likes her, she would support them. Keep her distance and let him grow and learn for himself. He's an adult and so is she, she doesn't need to be bitter and spiteful and hold on to something worth over a decade.

"So, how's your therapy going?" She asks him.

"Really well," he replies, turning to look at her. "Have you... considered going?"

JJ swallows deeply. "I was thinking about a support group for trauma instead. I was at the groceries the other day and came across the flyer."

"I could come with you?"

"No, I couldn't ask that of you-"

"Don't be silly. You're my best friend," he says. "No matter what."

JJ smiles. No matter if they have feelings for each other and are with other people or single. They were always going to be there for each other, no matter what and JJ appreciates that. She's not selfish, she's selfless and she's happy for him, a grin overtaking her face.

"Max, right?" She says. "And she thought you were a creep."

Spencer snorts and laughs, closing his eyes as he nods. "Turns out, I'm a swell guy!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Quick thing, obviously Spencer isn't JJ's sibling and the boys are his godsons, but he's introducing Max to them as his nephews since he met hers in the show. It's his way of bringing her into the family so to speak and the boys call him 'Uncle Spence' so I thought it was a nice touch. Hope that clears things up!**

* * *

As the weeks go by, JJ feels better. She's met Max, after having her help out on the Cat Adams case and today, Spencer invites Max over to JJ's to help out with the boys. It's a weird setting, not mutual or anything but JJ is a part of Spencer's life and now Max is and JJ surprisingly really likes her.

She may not see them last, but she sees the care and happiness in their eyes and the start of something new, exciting and beautiful. This could last years and end or it can last months and end. Either way, Spencer has chosen someone who compliments him splendidly and JJ can't find the heart to resent Max except be happy that she's a part of a special man's life.

"You remember JJ," Spencer says as they enter the house.

Max surprisingly gives JJ a tight hug. "Thank you, for everything. My dad and sister are doing great and it's all down to you and your colleagues."

"We're more than colleagues, we're family," JJ states with a warm smile. "And anyone close to one of us is family too."

Spencer is surprised at that and he sends the blonde a grateful smile before beaming when Michael jumps into his arms. "This little guy is my nephew," he tells Max. "I've met yours, now you get to meet my two terrible but genius godsons but I love calling them my nephews."

"They take after their Uncle Spencer," JJ says lightly, leading the couple and Michael into the living area. "Michael, say 'hi' to Uncle Spence's girlfriend."

Michael shyly gives her a wave which makes Max coo. "Hi."

"Hello, buddy!" Max says happily, watching as Henry enters the room with a tray full of drinks. "Oh, are you our little waiter for the day?"

Henry nods. "I asked Uncle Spence what you'd like to drink," he says. "I'm Henry."

Max grins down at him. "I'm Max!" She turns to Spencer. "You didn't have to...!"

Spencer blushes, putting Michael down. "First good impressions are everything."

"I think our nephews are just the most amazing kids in the world," Max tells him and JJ.

JJ smiles proudly, meeting Spence with a quick wink. "I'm going to see how lunch is getting on but you guys can chill with Michael and Henry."

She heads into the kitchen and sees that her phone has a new text by its charger. She picks it up and chuckles a little when she sees that it's from Will, asking how the boys meeting Spencer's new girlfriend is getting on.

She calls him.

"_So?_"

"Really well," she says. "She likes them."

"_Oh, thank God,_" he mutters. "_Who woulda thought, _he _would get someone as beautiful as her?_"

JJ scoffs but smiles fondly. She showed Will a picture, acting like a proud mother as they conversed about the boys' days. "He's doing pretty well for himself."

"_Despite that psycho trying to mess things up for him?" Will asks. "He hasn't seen anyone since Maeve. It's about damn time someone else saw how much of a great person he is._"

JJ blushes. "Mhm," she hums. She's told Will about Maeve, even when Spencer used to stop by when they were together, he'd let a few facts out, treating Will as an older brother for advice since Morgan left.

"_He's been through so much,_" Will continues, almost sadly. "_That case was about to screw things up for him. She's gone, isn't she? Cat Adams?"_

JJ nods. "He went to see her... He came back, no emotion or anything. Just... relief, I guess."

Will sighs. "_There are some real bad people in the world, Jennifer_," he states. "_The other day, one man almost cut my partner._"

JJ gasps. She knows Will has returned to the force down in New Orleans, spending more time with his family there. She ought to bring the kids down to meet their cousins really soon.

"Is he alright?"

"_Yeah, he's done self-defence. The man's a martial artist but he subdued the suspect._"

JJ nods in relief. "Stay safe," she tells him firmly. "I don't want our sons to find out that you're hurt or..."

Will tuts. "_Jennifer._"

She sighs, covering her eyes. "I almost died," she whispers. "Almost left them."

"_See someone-_"

"Group therapy is enough-"

"_One-on-one will be better._"

JJ clicks her tongue. "I have to make lunch. Talk later."

"_Bye. And book that appointment!"_ Is his last reply before he hangs up.

JJ shakes her head, removing dark thoughts before she plants a smile on her face and grabs the covered dishes. She heads into the dining room, calling out, "I hope you are all hungry! We've got a great carbonara ready to be eaten!"

Spencer turns towards her voice and his phone buzzes in his pocket. Retrieving it, he sees a text message from Will, begging him to get JJ to see a therapist. Frowning a little, he replies with a simple 'Definitely.' and puts his phone away before leading Max and the boys into the dining room to eat.


	7. Chapter 7

**I am so sorry. With the pandemic, a lot of my stories took the back burner and then my laptop crashed and I had a lot of stuff deleted, like the files for this story that I'd save on my device and not on the website due to file restriction but I've had the strength to remember a lot and now, I'm working on writing chapters. Here's the next part.**

* * *

"Ms Jareau-"

"Jennifer," JJ says kindly.

"Jennifer," the therapist replies, gesturing to the sofa. "Take a seat."

It's her first therapy session of many and JJ just lets loose and talks. She talks until her voice breaks and then she's seeing a tissue box being thrust into her vision, her hand blindly taking a couple.

"...I feel my heart's broken into a million pieces. I have no one," she breathes out tearfully, sniffling as she bows her head. "All because I almost died. Aren't people supposed to draw closer when that happens? But not for me. I lose a husband and a man I thought... we'd eventually..." She shakes her head helplessly, laughing wryly. "Wishful thinking. What did I expect? For him to wait until my husband died or we mutually separated years from then for us to be together?"

"But you let him go."

"I did," JJ affirms. "For both of us. Maybe I made a mistake because I knew for quite a while that my marriage had shifted. Even before I almost died. My husband-no, _estranged _husband and I aren't strangers to keeping secrets. For a while, I didn't let him know I'd lost our baby yet, I told the other man before I told him. He convinced me to tell him but I didn't think there was a point. I wanted to suffer alone-"

"But the other man knew-"

"I know he did," JJ says warily. "I'm not perfect. No one is but... Spencer has been in my life for a long time. Even before my ex-husband-to-be came into the picture. We've been through so much together, we've been separated due to the cases we're on, I've been worried sick when he was falsely imprisoned... Our line of work brings us together on so many personal levels, we're family but I've always wanted more with him. There'd be that devilish thought in my mind 'why couldn't I have them both?'. I wanted to be greedy but I was married with a young family and I had to keep him at arm's length even though my heart wanted him. It's unfair but life is unfair and... My husband cheats whilst I wanted to for probably the whole duration of our relationship. I guess that's where we're very different. I'm a dreamer and he's a realist when it comes to that."

After her session, she feels lighter. She could have spoken for America with how much she let the woman into about her life. She feels drained and all she wants to do is go home and hug her boys but they're in school and she's sat in her car in the car park of the mental health clinic.

She doesn't know how long she's sat there for but her phone starts to buzz in her handbag and she grabs it, answering it.

"Spence, what's up?"

_"I'm near the boys' school,"_ he starts off saying. _"Max and I are in the area on a date. I've noticed it's close to home time and you're not here yet."_

JJ checks the time on her phone. It's four minutes until the kids are let out for the day and she mentally curses. "I've just finished my therapy session. I'm so sorry, can you and Max...?"

_"Yeah, we've got them. We'll take them out for ice cream,"_ Spencer replies. _"Just take your time and we'll drop them off home so don't bother coming."_

JJ sighs heavily and nods. "Thanks. I'll see you later."

_"Yeah, see you soon,"_ Spencer replies.

So, her late afternoon is quiet for the time being when she arrives home. She doesn't even have an ETA on when Spencer and Max will drop the boys off but she's okay with it.

She starts dinner and rubs the side of her temple as she works, already feeling tired and sleepy from spilling her life's tale to a stranger. It doesn't take her that long to make dinner, she thinks but it does because the doorbell rings an hour and a half later and she answers it, her sons hugging her tightly as she meets Spencer's eyes.

"We got held up, sorry," he apologises, giving Michael a grin when the boy hugs him 'goodbye'.

"Just in time for dinner," JJ muses, sending a grateful glance to Spencer. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you..."

Spencer nods and the boys head in to take their coats and bags off as he steps a little closer to JJ. "How was therapy?"

JJ sighs heavily, crossing her arms. "That's a tale for another day, Spence," she tells him. "I've got to get the boys fed and... it's taken a lot out of me already. I'm tired but we could speak about it tonight over the phone when the boys are down for bed?"

Spencer gives her a little smile. "Yeah," he says before pointing backwards. "Max is waiting."

"Tell her I said 'hi' and thanks for getting the boys ice cream," JJ replies.

"No problem," Spencer replies before pecking her cheek and heading down the pathway towards Max in her car.

JJ waves them off and closes the door, resting her back against it with a heavy sigh before planting a smile on her face and going to spend time with her boys. At least she's got them forever. Or as long as they'll allow her until they're all grown.


	8. Chapter 8

**Replies to reviews:**

**Nursebonbon: Thanks so much! I'm glad to be back and inspired. A lot of my stories suffered and it hurts because I had big plans for them but it's allowed me to write better if that makes sense. Maybe those chapters weren't meant to be the final drafts. It allows for fluidity in my writing and I can't wait for you guys to see what's next for JJ.**

* * *

"Max?"

It's a surprise, seeing your best friend's girlfriend without said best friend around. It's even more of a surprise when she turns up at your front door entirely. It's not like running into each other at the supermarket, but it's kind of making JJ nervous as she hopes nothing is wrong between the two of them.

They're a really lovely couple and she's _just_ accepted that they are together.

"Hi, sorry for turning up unexpectedly," Max starts nervously. "Spencer said you guys weren't working a case and he's gone to see some Chess event in town so... I wanted to talk to you."

That alarms JJ greatly and she steps back to let Max inside before closing the door. She offers a drink or something to eat but Max politely declines, taking a seat on one of the couches as JJ sits on the other.

"Detective series?" Max asks lightly when her eyes land on what JJ is watching on the TV.

"I got bored of the drama I was watching," JJ chuckles, turning the TV off. "And work pretty much never leaves my mind unless my boys are in the room."

Max smiles warmly. "Yeah. Kids are great."

JJ nods and puts a leg over the other. "Well? Is everything okay between you and Spence?"

Max looks caught off-guard but she recovers and nods. "Yeah, things are great..."

"But?"

"I've just noticed he talks about you a lot," Max says gently. "Like, he talks about all of you a lot, you're his family but whenever he talks about you..."

JJ feels awkward and she pulls at her collar before sighing and meeting Max's eyes again. "Whenever he talks about me, what?"

"It's like he's _in love_ with you," Max says softly, a wry smile on her face. "It's not hard to see why. You're a badarse and beautiful and I'm just..." She sighs, covering her face.

"Max, Spencer is not in love with me," _lie_. "Whenever he's here, he talks about you like you're the only bright thing in his life."

Max reveals her face, looking so lost but hopeful. "Really?"

JJ lets out a soft chuckle, a smile growing on her face. "It's hard to get him to stop really." She then sits forward and takes Max's hands in hers. "He sees a future with you. That's never happened before in the whole time I've known him. Our jobs don't allow for thinking like that but I got lucky and now, I think he's really lucky with you."

Max lets out a happy sob and sniffles, squeezing JJ's hands. "Were... you and Spencer something once?"

"Honestly? I don't know what he's told you but we went on one date when we first met. He took me to my favourite team's game and well, I didn't really see it romantically. I thought it was two friends hanging out platonically... Then I met my future husband and had my beautiful sons," JJ says.

"I think he's always been in love with you but then you got with your husband and he... had to let you go," Max replies.

JJ pretends she's shocked and confused but then her face becomes neutral. "Well, he's got you now. And I'm happy with my sons and being single... Life is strange, it pulls us in different directions but they always reveal just why when it's time to. For now, enjoy what you have blossoming between you and Spencer. He needs this."

Max smiles a little. "He told me about Maeve. How awful it must have been to lose the love of your life," _was Maeve really the love of his life? Can't you have multiple?_, JJ thinks. "Like that. I'll make him happy, I promise."

JJ nods and hugs Max tightly. "Look after him. He's a bit battered and worn but he's priceless," she whispers.

"I will," Max promises.

...

"Luke," JJ calls out, eyebrows raised when she spots him at the flower aisle of the store. She's gone shopping with the kids with her mother at home and seeing her colleague with a bunch of roses in his hands makes her smile. "Who are those for? Me?"

Alvez snorts, playfully rolling his eyes. "You got your fair share, JJ," he replies, showing her the flowers. "No, they're for Penelope."

JJ grins. "Oh?"

"Yeah, she looked after Bella a few times when my friend decided to have an impromptu bachelor party so..." He trails off. "Does she even like roses?"

"You're trying too hard," JJ teases him, selecting a bouquet of colourful flowers she knows Penelope would adore. "Try these. Her life's full of colour. Wasn't always the case but our Penelope's bright."

Luke grins in relief, placing the roses back before taking the bouquet from JJ. "How have you been? I feel like if I dare mention how quiet work is, we'll get called out any second."

JJ laughs, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I've been good. At home, watching TV and spending time with Henry and Michael and my mother. My mother's actually sticking around for a bit now that Will and I..."

It took a few months to tell the rest of the team of her marriage breakdown but now they know, it feels like a weight off her shoulders. They're so supportive and kind and caring and even Matt and Kirsty have invited her, her mother and the boys over whenever they like for some fun time with movies and games.

"You're going to be alright, JJ," Luke says firmly. "Look at me." She does. "You're strong, you've got this. As long as you love your boys and they love you just as hard, you can get through this."

JJ's eyes tear up and she gives him a grateful smile, watching him grab a rose. "Who's that for?"

"Can't have my friend crying now, can I?" He asks, handing her the rose. "I'll pay for it. I'll go around with you until you're done and we'll check out together."

JJ looks down at the rose. When was the last time anyone gave her flowers romantically? "Thank you," she says. "You're a good friend."

And when she gets home, she finds out that Spencer sent her a large bouquet of roses as thanks for assuring Max.

She thinks that he would have been upset about Max and she going behind his back but... he's grateful.

_'You're the best, Jennifer. Spence x'_

"Yeah, but not enough for you," she mumbles to herself before turning and giving her family a wide smile as she announces she's got tacos.


	9. Chapter 9

On the jet, going back home from a case in New York, JJ notes that Spencer seems out of the sorts. The others are sleeping, reading or on their devices browsing the internet and she and Spencer are at the only two-seater table, not having started a conversation from being satisfied with the silence but he seems very plagued down with something.

They managed to get two hours rest before the flight home so he must be just itching to sleep in his own bed and get some proper sleep after their gruelling case where women were being murdered after giving their children up for adoption and it hit home because JJ has two boys she adores but she can't imagine what those poor women were going through. Not every woman is good enough to be a mother after all.

She kicks Spencer's foot lightly under the table, shifting on her side pillow against the wall. She smiles when Spencer looks up at her and his eyes light up a little, a smile growing on his face.

"Okay, spill," she says, low enough just for him. She doubts he wants anyone to put an ear in his business if not needed.

"It's noth-"

"Spence..."

He sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair, slipping his reading glasses off and looking out the window into the dark sky. "At the hotel, I fell asleep."

"Yeah?"

"And I had a nightmare."

JJ nods. "Okay."

"About you."

Her breath hitches in her throat and she swallows hard, meeting his eyes. "Me?"

He nods stiffly, lowering his gaze to the table. "You were at the parking lot with the Chameleon and his daughter and you got shot. I was there, trying to move to help you but... my feet were stuck and you were bleeding out, calling for me to save you to the point that you were hysterical. But I couldn't. Because I wasn't there in the first place and you almost died."

It's now been many months since that fateful day. Since her life changed. Since then, her marriage dissolved, her mother moved in part-time, Spencer found someone else and now, she's considering dating with Will's blessing which he said she didn't need but she insisted on it because of their sons. He's coming next weekend to test his female work colleague on the boys.

"Spence, I'm alive," JJ insists, leaning forward to take his hand and squeeze it. Even the wound has healed by now even though her heart continues to build itself again. "I'm breathing. I'm alive."

She stands, bringing his hand to her heart so he can feel her heartbeat and the relief in his eyes and the gratitude... She could cry. Letting go, she sits back down and wraps her blanket back around her as he nods to himself, trying to remind himself that she's alive and well.

"I ended things with Max."

Her eyes widen. "What?"

...

"Do you mind if... Spencer comes to dinner?" JJ asks Will over the phone. He's called to let her know that he and his date are at the airport, on their way via a taxi if they can find one but she's sprung this upon him.

_"He's family, of course,"_ Will says, missing the point of why she's asking.

Last week on the flight home, she and Spencer agreed not to say more on the matter until they got home. She spent the night talking to him back home before arriving at her home before the boys went to school.

Their talk was about how Spencer felt about Max and how they mutually ended things. The pressures of his work wouldn't be great to her anyway but he could still play chess with her nephew if he wanted as her sister was actually overjoyed that her son was more sociable due to Spencer's efforts.

She's a friend now and Spencer is seeking something new with JJ but it will take time as she is not a rebound nor do they want to disrespect anyone, most certainly her sons who mean the world to her and come first.

"Yeah, I want to cheer him up. He and Max ended things," she finally says.

_"Tell me that isn't so! They were good together, weren't they? Didn't the boys say she knew magic and whatever else he was into?" _Will says, disappointed. _"How is he doing? Do you think he needs a talk-"_

"I think he's good for now," JJ chuckles. "And sometimes similar doesn't work."

Will tuts. _"Don't give me that 'opposites attract' spew. Spencer is one of a kind, only a select few would suit him and I'm sure they won't be of opposite likes."_

"Spencer could have anyone in the world, Will. He's a great guy. He's loving, caring, great with kids, a genius and..." _Lovable. I love him_, she thinks. "He's the perfect guy and I'm surprised myself."

_"Why don't you date him?"_

JJ gasps and stands there in her kitchen, bewildered as hell. "Wh-What?"

_"You're not seeing anyone and that guy you told me you rejected just because he said he hated kids, was like, two months ago," _Will says. _"Why don't you take Spencer out and show him that all hope is not lost."_

"So, I'm a test dummy for him now?" JJ asks, smirking a little.

_"No. I mean, you've got the dating game in check. He struggles with that. But... it wouldn't be a bad idea if you guys got together."_

"Will, Spence is family," JJ says nervously.

He sighs heavily across the line and she could just envision him pressing his forefinger and thumb on the bridge of his nose. _"I saw the way you looked at him during the last months of our marriage, cher."_

"Will-"

_"How long have you been in love with him, Jennifer?"_

She almost bursts into sobs. "I never cheated on you-"

_"I know. Your heart was just in the hands of two men,"_ he puts it simply.

"I don't know when my feelings for him changed but we've been through _so much_," she croaks out. "We've both been victims of kidnap or GSWs or even frame... It got easy to relate to each other and be close and I was forced to tell him I loved him when we were trapped in that place last year. God, I just wanted to... stop the world because I had you and the boys to think about. I couldn't hurt any of you and at the hospital, as I was recovering... I told him we couldn't take things further for yours, Henry's and Michael's sakes. He's my best friend, Will. Has been in my life since day one at the BAU."

Will clicks his tongue and sighs heavily once more. _"Ask him out. You've always been confident to take the lead."_

"Will-"

_"I better hear that you've booked a lovely restaurant reservation when we get there in... forty minutes,"_ he replies. _"You deserve it, Jennifer. Go and grab your happiness and never let it go."_

Too stunned to speak, she nods before finding her voice and saying, "Yeah, okay."


End file.
